Priority Check

On Saturday evening, I had the privilege and pleasure to attend a special devotional for all young married couples, 35 years and under, hosted by the Sunset Ridge Stake in West Jordan. This was a six-stake wide event, and we had an area seventy, Mark P. Durham and his wife, present as well as Elder Quentin L. Cook and his wife. *Cool side note: apparently Quentin L. Cook was my father's Stake President while he was attending dental school in San Francisco. The Spirit was so strong and I will never forget some of the messages/teachings/inspiration/personal revelations that I received.

Since my cancer scan results on Friday, I've been pondering on how I should approach life. Without the chemotherapy (Votrient), I feel naked in a way. I feel completely vulnerable to this disease. It was as if the chemo was a blanket or band aid to help me feel like I had something tangible to keep me safe.  Now that, that's gone, I feel... empty. Alone. Determined, but asking "Now what do I do?". I felt like I needed a priesthood blessing, guidance from God, and that somehow, I would receive one after the devotional.

I laughed to myself - maybe Quentin L. Cook could give me a blessing! He's super in-tune with the Spirit, right? He would be able to receive all the inspiration needed to heal me, right? It's almost embarrassing writing this out loud for all to see. I just felt so strongly, that what I needed would be at the devotional.

A lot of the messages focused on marriage, bearing and teaching our children in today's world, and keeping our relationship with God up to date. I really liked the idea from Sister Durham where she talked about how she and her husband would do a weekly check-in with three questions:

1. Where are we in our personal relationships with God?

2. Where are we in our relationship with each other?

3. Where are we with our children - which child needs more attention this week?

They strongly encouraged us to pray and come up with our own questions and not to use theirs specifically. In this day and age, families aren't nearly as patriarchal as they were decades ago - this means that mothers and fathers have the wonderful opportunity to operate and raise their family together as equal partners.

There was a message about how we've been asked to bring children into the world - yes, even in today's upside down world. I believe it was Elder Durham who said that if we follow what prophets have asked us to do, in bringing children into the world, we will always have enough. I have personal testimony of this - it may not have seemed like we've had enough at times, but we've always had what we needed. God will not ask anything of us that is beyond our capacity. He will provide a way if we are obedient to His commandments. Prophets have asked us not to wait to start a family, and I know we have been blessed - exceedingly blessed - because we followed that counsel. If I had not started having children so young, I wouldn't have children. My early chemotherapy treatments have cleared out most of my egg supply. I consider my children to be sweet, tender mercies of the Lord.

The speakers were also very sensitive to those who are unable to have children naturally, and commended their beautiful desires to still live as closely to the commandments as they can.

Hearing Elder Cook bear his personal witness of Christ was one of the coolest things I've ever experienced. There aren't really words to describe how amazing it was.

Elder Durham's story of when he said his wife was extremely ill, they had very young children, and he was getting scans to see if he had cancer, he asked the Lord for help - that he wouldn't have cancer, and that his family would get through this. It hit me so hard - the answer to my questions, the "priesthood blessing" that wasn't a priesthood blessing at all - The Spirit told Elder Durham that if he got his priorities straight, and put the Lord first in all things, family second, then work, that all would work out. I cried. God is so good.

It was very humbling to hear those words. I certainly don't like to think that I'm not doing all that I can to put God first - but it was the hard truth I had to admit. I very much needed to do a priority check.

• Before I go to sleep, and first thing when I wake up, I need to be reaching out to Heavenly Father. Tell him about my day, send prayers of gratitude. This could be better than mindless scrolling on social media.

• Instead of making my prayers a long wish list, ask God what he would have me do instead.

• Again, instead of mindlessly browsing Facebook, or checking my emails, I can pull out my scriptures and study a chapter or two. 

• Instead of planning dinner, movie or other kinds of date nights for the first few weeks of the month, I can plan temple date(s) for the first week. 

• Even if my body is tired or sick, I need to let the Sacrament be my priority on Sunday. I need to put the Lord before myself (within reason, but I find it's easy to come up with excuses to miss church.

When I do these things, everything else seems to follow. I'm more available and capable to serve my children. I'm kinder. I'm more aware of how I can serve others. I have a clearer mindset. I seem to have more time to do the Lord's work and do things I enjoy.

Here's a question for ya: What are you doing in your life right now that puts God first? What can you do better?

My challenge for you readers is to find one thing you can do better in putting the Lord first in your life this week, and practice it! Then journal the things you learned and any blessings you received by doing so and maybe write out how you can make your priorities more in line with what Heavenly Father would have you do. I know that everyone who puts in the effort to do this, will be blessed.

xo - Becky Flo